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I sat in the bath and cried, cried and cried.
Tears for the dogs in Yulin. As an empath, this touches me so very deeply, the pain and mistreatment of all sentient beings /animals all over the world. Dogs are my totem. They are my spiritual soul mate, walking by my side for the most part of my life. Walking, talking, and gently nudging me on my journey. Monty, Mitzi, Benjie, Lucy and now the lovely Luna Joy. I am honoured to have walked this path with them, they each hold a piece of me and I hold a piece of them.
Two and a half years ago, Lucy, my beloved Jack Russell died quite suddenly - she was 14 years and 2 months. A pretty healthy Jack with a zest for life, we discovered she had tumours on her heart and she declined in 7 days. We had to make the agonising decision of releasing her.
It was a devastating bereavement for me. Lucy had been my life, my constant fur partner. She moved wherever I went, we house shared with three others after my divorce, we travelled, we had adventures. She visited Cornwall, Cumbria, Scotland and France. She gained a new step dad whom she loved. Her time to go to Rainbow Bridge
As we said goodbye to her, we wrapped her still warm body and I held her close to my heart as we travelled 45 minutes to the pet cemetery Sleepy Meadows. It was here that me and my husband, (her new step dad) prepared to say our goodbyes.
We brushed her, cleaned her, wrapped her in her blanket that would now be her shroud and buried her with her favourite things; Scooby Doo, who had been her mate for 14 years, a ball, a piece of carrot, (her favourite veg), snowflake obsidian and rose quartz for her journey to Rainbow Bridge. We cried through our prayers, we sang our Lucy songs, sobbed and sobbed as we lowered her into the grave, filling in with soil after her. Numb, we came home. The grief took hold of me. Friends and family who didn't understand didn't call. Friends and family who knew were right there. I created an altar, a shrine to Lucy, I lit a candle every night for how long, I can't tell you. Months. I wrote to her every day and I knew I would make her headstone. All these forms of creative expression helped me to spend time with her and honour my bereavement. I was feeling guilty about the release, I worried she hated me, I felt distraught and angry that the vets didn't do any more. Did I tell she died on our 1st Anniversary. Yes, that's a tough one too. I love making short videos and I made one for Lucy.
I look back at the ritual of her burial and realise just how important it was for my grieving. To lay her to rest at the end of her life was a privilege. I wouldn't want anyone else to do that. Why would I? I loved and cared for her through her life, from 8 weeks old, I would love and care for her at this time of departing too. Creating her headstone from scratch was something that I poured my heart and tears in to.
As I sat in the bath, crying those deep tears I just knew how blessed Lucy was.
Our non-human animals are shining lights for us, our healers, our guides, our friends and our teachers. I have being drawing animals in this world, for a while now and I now I am being called to draw animals who have passed over, you may want a drawing together with you, or on their own. Do you have a beloved Animal In-Spirit who has passed over to Rainbow Bridge? Either recently or a long time ago?
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June 2017
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