3 IMPORTANT STEPS YOU CAN TAKE TODAY TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE

I remember a time, way back when I was 19 and I thought my legs were huge. Maybe they were, or maybe they weren't, this isn't the point. 

Sitting here now, I'm wondering how I came to that conclusion and I think it was a mixture of moving through teenage years and being a bit 'plump-ish' and it didn't help that a guy I dated when I was 19 used to comment on my thighs.  

Should have told him to 'bog off' back then when he started, rather than laughing it off and internalising it.   

I look back at this now and think, what the hell was I thinking? 

Somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, I have always carried this with me.

Yet I have worked through it and pummelled it to the surface so it doesn't hold the same power and focus any more.

Sometimes have wobbles. 

To my rational mind, (and maybe yours too) it doesn't make any sense, but over the years, I made sure to avoid certain things; like wearing a pair of shorts, or swimming with friends (bikini's were out!) and always going into changing rooms where there were cubicles, rather than the days where everyone just took their kit off in front of each other!

As a counsellor and healer, I have worked on myself a great deal.   

I have my go-to list of things I do to help me heal, to rebalance.

My key's to calm. 

Today, here are my 3 important steps that you can take today, to love yourself more.

1.) Dig out a photo of yourself that you LOVE.

Find one, but if you have more time, find more. 

Gather them from over the years.

Why?  

Well, often our brains tell us that we were a certain way but when we actually look at the photo, we can see that in fact our brains were misleading us.  

They're FIBBING.  

WE Need to UPDATE our Brains and Memories.  

Annually.  

I'm not talking about how thin you were back then; we are looking for evidence of when you used to think e.g. that your upper arms were horrendous.  Find the time or the outfit that you hated back then and show your current self that in fact :~

You were LOVELY.   JUST AS YOU WERE.  Be KIND.  Treat your self as a FRIEND.

Find pictures that totally throw that theory to the wind.  

I remember recently looking back at a photograph of myself, wearing denim shorts (yes I did brave them) and my adult brain of today, said "You look lovely - there was nothing wrong with you!"   

Yet, at the time, I distinctly remembering that panic feeling of "I'm not good enough" or "I don't look like the magazines" or "can I possibly wear these and look good?"

2) Stop talking about your body in a negative way

Ok, hands up, who is really horrible, nasty and cruel to a certain part of their body?

Hands down - don't panic.  We all do it.  

The first very important step to loving yourself more is to stop berating your thighs, upper arms, ears, boobs, bottom, calves, toes * (insert your 'thing').

We would never talk to our best friend this way.  If we did, they would cry every day at home.  {I know for sure, that I would hate it if I knew my friend was crying every day because of something I said to her.}
What you focus on, GROWS BIGGER  

It's a truth that if you spend time focusing on how massive your arse is (*excuse me but, had to be said) everytime you cast a backwards glance at your BOTTOM in a mirror, in a changing room, it will be HUGE.  When in fact it isn't.  It's a lie. 

So stop doing this right now.  IT doesn't serve you and it won't help you LOVE yourself MORE. 

Instead start reminding yourself EVERY DAY how fabulous your TUSH is (or whatever you berate).

I used to have a real hang up for my upper arms.  I would never wear anything that exposed them but more so, I would give a quick quip when I saw them in the mirror.  

This is the very worst kind.  

Quick Quips to the Mirror.  OOh girls, we can be so very nasty.

Not only that, we have hideous terms for women's body parts - so I want you to STOP doing this today. (I'm not going to even mention any of these names, because I will not give them The Light Of Day).

3) Be LOVING to your SKIN. Exfoliate today and start a weekly massage routine.

Some of us are lucky to live in countries where weekly massages are part of the culture and society.  Take Sweden, Hungary, Germany for example.  Going to have a weekly sauna and massage is part of SELF CARE and necessary to general well being.  I have realised in these last 10 years that massage is crucial to loving myself. 

There is something magical about touch.  One that we forget.  We think it is based on being in a relationship and the partner doing it 'to' us.  

In fact, touch, is a very core fundamental requirement for our sense of self - take this important step and seek it out.

• Touch revitalises you.  
  
• Touch nurtures your skin 
  
• Touch allows you to relax deeply.  
  
• Touch gives the massage therapist permission to connect with your legs/thighs/upper arms) thereby giving you the go-ahead to LOVE them too.  (N.B You don't need to seek a massage therapist, but if you can, it will help you relax more into loving your self.)
  

Using sweet smelling essential oils with healing benefits, will send positive, loving messages to your heart spirit and soul.  Messages that say I LOVE this body.  

Making time for a weekly massage is Wonderful, but can be tricky to fit in, so Monthly is truly delicious. 

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On top of that, once every week, make your own exfoliating scrub before you bathe, shower.  It's so much more gorgeous making this yourself than buying it.   

In a small cereal bowl mix until you have a nice consistency, not runny and not too thick.

1. Coarse Salt
   
2. Honey
   
3. Sugar
   
4. Olive Oil
   
5. Essential oil (optional) : any of these Geranium, Clary Sage or Lavender (I like it without, but depends on you.)

Prepare the ground in the bathroom by adding a towel on the floor, it can be a little messy; run your bath, and start from the feet upwards, include your heels. Now gently begin to add it to each leg, massaging in circles.  Move upwards towards the heart.  All the way up.  Breasts, Back, Buttocks (where you can reach), Upper Arms, Shoulders,  Do this all yourself. 

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Don't exfoliate your face as this mixture can be a little rough.  But your front and back neck is a good place if you go a little more gently.

You will by now be smelling really YUMMY.  

Get into the bath, or shower and watch how smooth, oily and delicious your skin is. 

This is the 3rd and very important step in loving yourself more today.

I don't tend to make stock piles of this exfoliator, I just make it as I use it.  It forms part of my ritual.

I have no doubt that if GP's prescribed a weekly massage to their patient to help treatment for depression, migraines, anxiety, I am certain there would be a reduction in pharmaceutical drugs and a huge decrease in their drug budget. *just saying*.

I would love to know what you do to love yourself more today.  

Let's make a LIST.

Love